Friday, November 19, 2010

My mother in law is coming and I don't know how to handle it?

I've been told by so many how ';poisonous'; and ';venomous'; of a person she is.

My husband used to beat me... Eventually I kicked him out and would not let him near us (I kicked him out the day I found out I was pregnant) until he went through programs and therapy.

He is better... But since then I have found out that his mom encouraged it.

His mom also paid his little brother and his freinds to jump me (my husband has no clue about that part), and she is the reason I lost my job (my husband knows this).

She claims to be getting better, the stroke she had last year changed her ways (by all accounts this is BS, but the hubby doesn't involve himself in the entire family anymore so he has no clue).

Just the thought of being near her gives me crazy anxiety.

But she is in town and wants to meet our little boy for the first time.

She is fine with little kids, she just hates me and sometimes my hubby depending on the day (if its a good day, she hates that he was born, if it is a bad day...she guilt trips him about how she was raped growing up etc).

I feel ashamed just being near her. She is 106 pounds and my height. I am twice her size. I never ate food at her house and I was the one feeding her kids (my husband was 23 at the time, the oldest one besides him was 17 and 3 younger boys), but she always told me I was a pig. I know I am fat... but it is hard to hear her tell me what other people think of me and how my husband settled for so little.

She is a goddess of manipulation btw. Even therapist my husband and I have gone to are impressed at what she can accomplish.

I feel this will be a one time thing. I am here staying to support my husband through the mental hell he will get. He has come to terms with a lot of things and does not want to see her. But it will be the only way to make the phone calls stop, and our son is young enough still that if a fight does happen he will not remember it (I plan on lying to him about his grandmothers. Just say they are busy, not that they are banned from getting near our family).

If I see her tonight I am not sure I can bring myself to look at her.

But looking a way will make her happy.

I don't know if I should bite my tongue or at least defend some BS (the hubby said he is OK with it now, but Im used to him defending her).

My sister in law will be here with us and she is OBLIVIOUS. And we used to be close before the mom told her lies... So I know I will get **** on that end too.

I know this was long, if anyone understood any part of it ANY advice will be apreciated.

Thank youMy mother in law is coming and I don't know how to handle it?
How nice, she wants to finally meet her grandson, how sweet. Are we imagining big fluffy clouds in the sky, the sun shining, and happiness everywhere while children skip down the street singing ?

Okay, she's a b*****. It's your house, not hers, remember that. If I were you, I would not allow her to visit me or my husband and son, at my house. I would arrange a day for a picnic lunch at the beach, maybe. That way, if she becomes difficult to bear, you can pack up and leave. Because it's at your house, you will have to call the police to have her removed. Don't put up with it, in your own house. You may have to tell her, to her face, so you tell her.My mother in law is coming and I don't know how to handle it?
OMG I thought my Mother in law was crazy!!! I guess I was wrong!

You should not have this little get together at your house!!! Go out to eat or to the park, some were with witnesses! If she gets to be to much just take your child to leave!!! It would be better for you, your husband and your son to spend as little time with her as passable! It might be a good idea for you and your husband to sit down with her and talk to her about how she should behave before you let her see your son!! If she can檛 respect what you have to say then she can檛 see your son at all! Maybe have a friend go with you so you not only have some one who has your back just in cases she flips but you would also be a witness and some one to get your child out of harms way. With this woman I don檛 think that you could be too safe.

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