When Do Men Realize That They Gave Up a Good Woman?

My now ex keeps telling me that he wants to get himself together and then marry me in his 30s. He says that's when he will be more ';stable';.He's 24 and we've been on and off since I was 16 (I'm 23 now).He was my first and only but I wasn't his and he's been with women during our breakups. We have a 9 month old together. What really gets me is that he really believes that I will be waiting for him after he finishes ';getting himself together'; aka whoring around. He's had many chances to do this since there's been multiples times when he's broken up with me for long periods of time. Our longest breakup was for about 2 years. Why is he doing this still after this long? How do I get him to see what a huge mistake he's making.Or do I just move on and how? Should I still have hope that he will have a change of heart? How does a person still have doubts about someone they supposedly love after 7 years?I forgot to add I've been there for him...never turned my back on him even when he had nothing I was always willing to help him and support him. Every time he gets a job and starts doing a little better he finds an excuse to break up with me...or at least that's how it seems. He says that's not the case though. Am I being used as some type of safety net? I'm so confused.When Do Men Realize That They Gave Up a Good Woman?
I'm gonna give you what you need which is tough love. Move on and stop being his doormat why does he keep leaving you and coming back when he wants to because you allow him. He knows you're not going anywhere and he knows you'll be waiting but the question is why are you? You should take this time and learn to love yourself and realize your self worth... Do you want to teach your child that mommy is a doormat. He'll realize what he lost when you move on but by then you'll be with someone who doesn't treat you like less so get to moving on!!!When Do Men Realize That They Gave Up a Good Woman?
You can be guaranteed that there are no good woman on Yahoo.
Cut loose from him, I'm sure your gut has been telling you this for years now. Aren't you worthy of someone better?





About the 'good woman' question...we don't realize it until it's too late. Same goes to you ladies.
When Do Men Realize That They Gave Up a Good Woman?





When they get patted in the face with a shovel.
Yes you are his safety net. You need to move on. You already said you have broken up with him several time from the time you were 16 years old so clearly marriage should not be in your mind because marriage can not keep the relationship together people keep it together.
Sometimes never. This guy sounds like one of them. And yes, you are being used as a safety net. Personally, even if he got his sense together and became all the man you'd ever want him to be, I'd still be hurt by the way he used me like a dish rag when we were younger that I doubt I could ever forget it. Forgive, yes...forget, no. And then that would dampen some of the feelings I had for him, always.





I would suggest that you find someone a heck of a lot more mature. You have a 9 month old child to take care of. Invest in your child and wait for someone better....not only for you, but your child as well. Best wishes to you and your baby.
Of course you're being used as a safety net. Every time he looks down on you, you're there.





He has no reason to stay with you permanantly/full time (exclusively) because you allow him to break up with you so he can get some strange and come back to you.





Tell him ';See Ya'; ... and mean it.
No matter what, you two will always have that special bond. Since he was your first you will always feel that attachment towards him.





I think you should move on and I think he knows that he is giving up a good person, but maybe he wants to explore before he settles down.





I believe in true love, but not everyone ends up with their true love.
Good woman? You made a baby with a whoring bum and that is a good woman?Use your brains for a change hon.


OF COURSE he is using you as a safety net dufus!


Let me translate what he REALLY means hon:


What he said was:


'; he wants to get himself together and then marry me in his 30s. He says that's when he will be more ';stable';.He's 24 and we've been on and off since I was 16 (I'm 23 now).He was my first and only but I wasn't his and he's been with women during our breakups. We have a 9 month old together. ';


What he means :


I want to keep you on the side as a booty call until I am finished whoring around and if I don't find anything better I will marry you then IF I am sure I am finished whoring around, if not I may change my mind and put that plan on hold for another 50 yrs!';


Just file for child support and remind him HIS daughter is growing up without a father in the home and you are not going to wait around on him so he can go whore around until he is dead with an STD.
Oh my goodness! He sounds like a total jerk!!





A list of minimum requirements in a man has got include fidelity. A man who can't be faithful to you now will betray you worse and worse as the years go on. Forget the 7 years; if you go back to this guy you are looking at a whole lifetime of heartbreak and sorrow.





You're still young. Stop being a doormat to an selfish egotist; get him out of your life, find a decent guy.
He is repeatedly treating you this way because you have allowed it again and again. If you want a different outcome then change the approach. Maybe it is time to show him that you will not be there if he decides to leave and come back again, put your foot down and demand the respect you deserve. Stop letting this man have the best of both worlds, he does this because he knows you'll still be there for him, it's time to let him know that he might have got away with treating you that way but he has no right to walk in and out on his child. You and your child deserve so much more and deep down I know that you know this, remember 1 happy parent is better than 2 unhappy parents.
You said it ';safety net';. Be honest, if you two didn't have a kid, do you think you'd still be talking? He'd be long gone enjoying his life and dropping you an occasional call in hopes of some quick sex.
He won't


don't worry, move on, and focus on your child and yourself


You were married right?


you need child support ect.





If he put it that way, really he isn't there for you, you are just a good lay





value yourself and move on
I haven't said that as my wife is still with me after 22yrs.